Breaking the shell of the sullen teenager can one of the most daunting tasks with which a parent can be faced. It can be so tough that one might even forget, there’s a tasty candy center in there, just waiting to make everyone happy! When teenagers act out and refuse to communicate, it’s often because they don’t feel like they’re being respected or given proper consideration. While, as parents, it can be easy to feel a bit indignant about this kind of mindset, understanding it can be key to a communicative breakthrough that finally allows your teen to feel comfortable, understood, and maybe even be communicated with.
Listen to them. Really listen.
The vast majority of teens suspect their parents don’t listen to them, let alone understand what it is they have to say. It’s counter intuitive, but lots’ of teens refusal to listen to their parents is simply their way of doing what they see as returning the favor. To break this trend, make it clear that you’re interested in what your teen has to say. Make a point of asking them their opinion and feelings, and respond to them legitimately. What they have to say might sound silly to you, as a parent, but try to dignify it as much as you can. Take the high road, always. Doing so calmly and respectfully will avoid escalating the situation.
Make sure your teen understands where you’re coming from.
Once you’ve taken the time to hear your teen out, you can explain that now it’s your turn to describe your feelings. Which, whether they like it or not, are more important. As you’re the parent. Any mom or dad will tell you, though, that this isn’t necessarily the best way to explain things to a teen. If you’ve genuinely listened to what your teen has to say, then spelling out your take on the matter should be a little easier. Rather than going with the “because I say so” route, do your best to explain the actual logic and reasoning behind your decision. Try to align your teen with your objective as a parent, which is ultimately do what’s best for your children. Getting them to understand where you’re coming from can go a long way towards establishing mutual respect and communication.
Reach a mutual understanding. Maybe even compromise. Get your teen on your side.
Now that you’ve both made yourselves understood, you can have a much easier time making your teen feel like his or her needs have been met, in addition to your own. Even if they haven’t, you can at least have an easier time engineering a situation in which your teen feels respected and dignified. Reaching an irritable or angry teen doesn’t require an MA in Mass Communication, just a little bit of patience. It can be easy for a parent to get kind of caught up in the fact that you’re the boss and you’ve got the final say. Correct though you may be, it’s no secret that an angry teen won’t always respond to logic. Sometimes you’ve just got to get a little creative.
