Helping Your Child Deal With College Rejection Letters

Rejection is never easy for anyone to deal with, but there is something extra-specially painful about a college rejection letter, especially when your high school senior seems to ready to get out into the wonderful world of higher education. But how you help your child deal with an actual rejection letter or even the simple threat of one’s imminent arrival will determine, in part, how they face the inevitable gap year, their freshman year at a school which they never intended to attend, or not going to college at all. Here are a few tips and strategies how to handle the devastating news.

Keep your reactions in check. Until you allow your child to have hers, that is. Whatever your reaction might be, whether it’s elated or dejected, you must allow your child to set the tone and then follow their lead. Whatever the result is, your role should be one of validation – your child is entitled to their feelings. Disappointment may occur even if they have been accepted, particularly if it was from a school low on their list. Be there for your child as a supportive rock.

Your college days are probably behind you. Even with many parents returning to school to work on their Masters degrees or even their first Bachelors, you must remember that this process is not about you. You may have poured a lot of your own time and energy into the application process, and your own elation or disappointment is understandable and inevitable. However, the moment belongs to your child. Let them have it.

Sensitivity training. Your child is going to be disappointed; there’s no way around that. You can help out by being extra sensitive to their feelings, which means that they will undoubtedly need time to process the information. And since their feelings have now become linked to acceptance or denial, their self esteem is bound to suffer. You can be a shoulder to lean on without nagging, criticizing, or judging.

Try to listen. Allow your child to vent to you if they want to, also keeping in mind that they may not. Once again, be sensitive when coming up with the kinds of probing questions you need to pose that will help your child consider their options and gather their thoughts. Try not to vent yourself, as this will only make matters worse.

Stay calm. Don’t let your emotions run away with you. There are other solutions, even if your child doesn’t make it in this year. Other options exist, and you can work together to find them.

Even if your child didn’t make it into their first choice school, that doesn’t mean their options are closed. They may still be eligible for the top online computer science programs, for example, where they will earn the best computer science degrees possible. Rejection isn’t the end of the world. You’ll be much more helpful if you can provide your child with the grounding they need to move on to acceptance so they can try again.

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Hollie

Hollie is the owner and coordinator of Real Moms Real Views. She loves spending time with her family which consists of her handsome hubby and three kiddos ages three and under. She loves her fur baby (dog), the smell after it rains, red nail polish, chick flicks, and anything chocolate!
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